In Fiction and Physics, I share the mechanics behind my own works, reflecting on the inspiration, development, writing, and editing in detail.
This article describes the physics behind my latest short story, PODs (which will be posted on Feb 24 in
’s newsletter, Beyond the Bookshelf. (I highly recommend subscribing to his work. Super cool projects and posts.)Note that this article contains spoilers for the story. I suggest reading the story first.
My Philosophy on Science Fiction
I believe the essence of science fiction involves pushing a situation to the limit and exploring its effect on ourselves and humanity. I did this for my short story, Human, and I did it again with PODs. PODs was the examination of my feelings as a father, just as Human was the analysis of my emotions surrounding my career. Each story processed emotions I felt in that chapter of my life.
Story Development
A lot of the writing process, at least for me, is thinking. Putting the story together in parts and pieces over months or even years.
I started writing PODs in the early days of fatherhood in 2022, with no real intent to ever share it with the world. It was a place to process my emotions. I wrote it in snippets after dropping my kids off at school. More often than not, my kids were hesitant to step beyond the classroom door. Tears would form under their eyes as their lips curled, sadness building. They started crying, wanting to stay home and play. (What kid doesn’t?) It was heartbreaking.
After each drop-off, I sat in the car for a few minutes, putting my heartbreak into an Evernote note. (I write all my first drafts in Evernote or on my Remarkable by hand.) There was no structure or organization. Just my thoughts and emotions. And criticisms of myself as a parent.
The Writing Process
PODs was a difficult story to write. I struggled putting my vulnerability on the page, as well as how to structure the story to ensure a positive and meaningful ending while hiding the twist.
I originally didn’t have the dates or section titles, having the narrator reveal that information through their thoughts. I felt this took away from the story, so I gave each section a date and title so I could make the words themselves be more focused on the character’s internal narrative, rather than for exposition. This helped me show more with less.
The notes and emotions that served as the foundation were written back in 2022. The first somewhat organized draft I wrote in 2023. Once I started putting the pieces into a cohesive narrative, the structure of the story changed five times. It always started with the child being placed inside a POD, but everything else in the story kept shifting. The ending where the narrator is at the main PODs facility originally happened halfway through the story, and the conversation in Central Park was the original ending. I didn’t feel this gave a strong sense of closure though. The conversation in Central Park ended up being a necessary precursor to the final ending and realization of the narrator.
The first organized draft took me about a week, writing for an hour or two at night. (This is when I can find true focus time - I have a full time job that keeps me busy.) For the final draft, I took the same approach over two weeks. The editing process took about one week, leveraging the same time increments.
The First Paragraph
The first paragraph was super important. I needed to get the reader into the story world, immediately drawing them in emotionally and setting the scene. Within a few sentences, I needed to introduce the concepts to keep the reader engaged and make it believable - that this could happen in the future. That's why the story itself is only a few thousand words. I was concerned about boring the reader if it was much longer.
Not much happens in the story - it’s more of an analysis of the narrator’s thoughts than any action moving a plot forward. Many of my other short stories have a lot more happening. But PODs was different.
Establishing the Ending
The original version of PODs was much darker. The simulation was experienced by the kids, not the parents. This was the version that existed for two years. I kept thinking about it, wanting a happy ending, but didn’t know what that looked like. In the original ending of the darker version, the kids came out just fine when compared to the kids who didn’t enter the PODs program. In the original ending, a parent whose child was part of the PODs program meets at a park, conversing with a parent whose child never went into PODs - and the two parents can’t tell the difference between the two kids. The parent whose child didn’t experience the PODs program was supposed to say something comforting to the narrator - whose child did experience PODs - but I never came up with the right words. And the more I kept thinking about it, the story really wasn’t about the kids. Parenting itself is an experience of growth for the parents, as much as it is for the kids. That’s when the ending switched and I made the parents be the ones who went through the simulation.
Also, I wasn’t ready to write the proper ending at the time. I needed to grow more as a parent to come to this realization. Two years after writing the original material, I was in a better place to put the pressure back where it belongs - on myself - which provided a more satisfying ending. (I think so, at least).
Editing and Revisions
For my editing process, I repeat the steps below as many times as needed until I feel the story is ready.
I work on the story in a Google document, then save to PDF, moving it to my Remarkable tablet. I save it in Courier font, size 12, with multiple line spacing.
I use the red pen and make edits as I read the story out loud. I pace the room as I read it. (I feel that movement helps with focus.)
Normally I have an editor go through my work, but this time with PODs, it was only myself. (I will be putting all my short stories together into a collection, at which point, I will hire a professional editor to assist.)
The revision process followed the milestones below.
The original draft was roughly 3,600 words, which I cut down to 2,700 on my first round of edits.
The third round of edits cut it down further to 2,633, with a few additions along with the cuts.
The fourth draft was 3,611 words.
A fifth draft and final read. This fifth draft became the final version.
I always forget how many times we have to read our work before it goes out. Over and over, to make sure it’s right. You literally get so sick of your own story after a time. I believe a story won’t ever be perfect, but there is a time when it’s ready to be shared with the world.
You can see all the major edits here, if you’re looking for specific examples.
Hints and Easter Eggs
I grew up watching The Twilight Zone. Episodes such as "Will the Real Martian Stand Up" had endings I became fascinated with. Something we never see coming. For my own work, I want every story I write to have that effect for the reader. To be surprised, and to take something away to think about. To have a twist. I've become so accustomed to it. My older works have darker endings, but as I’ve grown older, I’m seeking more positive and meaningful tones to those twists.
In PODs, there are many hints as to what's really happening.
The section titles note what was happening to the narrator. (He was first integrated, simulated, then assimilated.)
The narrator was always looking at a screen.
That the narrator never ventured very far (because he was inside a POD).
The simulation for the narrator begins at the start, during the power failure (which was not actually a power failure at all).
The grayness of everything. This wasn’t the narrator's emotions (a person being so sad that color has faded from everything - we’ve all felt that way at some point), rather the black and white filter of the PODs simulation.
In the end, the room is green - not gray white, the color having returned when the simulation ends.
Dr. Kiin. His name, Kiin, means “born”. (This may be a nerdy stretch, but I couldn’t help myself.) In the story, the children aren’t what’s being born. It’s the parents.
Finally, there’s another hint in Kiin’s name, but you’ll have to read my short story, Human, to figure that one out.
Reflection and Closing Thoughts
It takes a long time to write a short story. I spent several years on PODs, and many have written multiple novels in that time (though I’m not a full-time writer). Many writers have stated that a short story is more difficult. I'm not sure which side of the argument I stand on, but crafting a story is difficult, whether short or long.
One thing to note about the simulation in the story is that it feels like real parenthood. We have 18 summers with our kids. That's fast. Time is fast. At the end it will feel like a simulation - only 4 years went by, but 18 actually did. We blink and our kids are driving away. They are born. Then they turn 18, and the simulation ends. This is obviously extreme, and no one actually thinks this way. Yet isn't that what science fiction, and fiction in general, is for? To showcase the extreme potential of what happens if we don't stay human?
I came to the realization that kids will be kids, and that us parents are in fact the ones who need coaching. That there is no one school (or simulation, to use the terms for the PODs universe) that would make my child perfect. No “Decision Log” that will give me control over what diseases my kids get exposed to. If they get hurt playing in the backyard. The simulation taught me how to be the parent that will nurture my kids according to the right moral principles - whatever one may decide those to be.
This is a story for the kids. To bring awareness of what they mean to us. That we parents have a higher calling, something truly unattainable yet we must continuously strive for it with all the grit and patience we can muster, as the effort will require more than we have available.
This story is for the parents, too. That they give themselves grace in each decision they make for their kids. That no matter how much we try to attain perfection, we won’t get there. Perfection is a mathematical limit. An asymptote. As long as the line has a positive slope, we’re in good shape.
This isn't a statement, or any judgement for any parent. Parenting is hard, and there's no right or wrong decision. I think we are all trying to do our best with what we have available to us in that current chapter of life.
Setting aside the emotions, I hope readers enjoy PODs for its own sake.
A Final Note
I usually listen to a dark academia and classical playlist on Spotify when I write. On that list is Clair de Lune. I’ve listened to the playlist on shuffle a hundred times, and Clair de Lune has never come on. But, as I wrote the final sentences of PODs, Clair de Lune began to play. This song has a strong connection between members of my family, stemming from my late grandfather, who used to play it on the piano.
Powerful stuff.
Thanks for reading.